Love is not blind, it's kind

Last night I went to dinner and every-time I opened my mouth I was interrupted; as a result I did not discuss my life, interests or thoughts. Although I enjoy listening (I am given understanding and future material) I would have been better off elsewhere. Being selective of my time and dislike wasting it for things that don't enlighten me, help me to help others or bring me pleasure, I was intellectually bored.  

Everybody thinks they are good at listening – after all, it just involves a bit of concentration and not saying anything. Simple. Or is it?

In my first class I have students gather into couples and listen to one another for five minutes without interrupting or taking notes. Then I have them each give a summary of what they have heard.

I do this to promote effective communication. The art of listening and ability to concentrate is crucial for good writing.

Sometimes there can be a worry that if someone is given a chance to speak uninterrupted, they will go on forever, but often they will take up much less time than if they are interrupted.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line and in the same way, an uninterrupted stream of talking will flow more quickly to its end point, if one is continuously caused to deviate from its path by a change of topic, opinions and other comments. The repetitions and wider explanations are the speaker's response to these interruptions, leading to a longer period of speaking.

When people experience interruptions they resort to speaking in choppy sentences, don't complete their thoughts and there is a likelihood that they will not be listening either when people speak to them, because they will have developed the strategy of thinking of their next answer or comment to squeeze in whatever they can– because it has become a competition to be heard– rather than a real conversation.

In this way, ineffective listening is mutually induced in both people having the conversation. So basically, it only takes one person to break the circle of decline in the quality of the listening.

So why do people not listen? Because they believe that they and their words are more important than anyone or anything else. Yes, it comes down to arrogance. Sure, some folks will use their faulty memories as an excuse.

The brain can mold. When it has formed a bad habit; such as conditioned not to listen, being like elastic it is capable of learning something new and will benefit in the long run from the expansion.

With the practice of uninterrupted time, a listener can listen and the speaker can speak without anxiety that they will have to fend off interruptions. The effectiveness and quality of the communication increases enormously as a result. And isn't that form of respect what friendship is really about? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw1lmCS11A8