Seven Deadly Sins

We writers are a twitchy lot, and when we are away from our computers and into the society of people who are bemused, intrigued and largely ignorant about we do, we get asked a lot of questions. So in the interest of keeping harmony, I’m going to offer some suggestions of statements to avoid when speaking to a writer along with their passing thoughts.

1. What do you write?

“I wrote for periodicals but now it’s primarily articles, web and online content. I also write fiction.”

This is where they stare at me dumbfounded completely lost for words and end up more confused about what I do than when I first started talking.

2. What are you working on?

I don’t want to talk about it. I think my new manuscript is good, and if or when I decide to speak (which is not my style until it is finished) and give you a brief summary, you’re likely to say: That’s interesting. Then I’ll spend a week wondering why you said interesting instead of great. Should I start over?

3. When is your book coming out?

I don’t know. If I knew, I’d say so, right up front. I’d walk right up to you and hand you bookmarks and buttons and talk all about it. I wouldn’t be trying to keep it a secret. So if I don’t say anything, it means there’s nothing to say.

4. I was just reading this really bad book and thought of you. You don’t write any worse than she does. Why don’t you have a series?

I need to get out of here!  

5. Would you read my manuscript?

Have you ever heard time is money? Listen up, get your wallet out!  You wouldn’t ask a doctor to give you a free medical procedure, would you? Aside from the fact that it would take me about ten hours, which I don’t have, if I read your manuscript I would feel like I should come up with constructive advice, in order to be helpful. Every time I give someone constructive advice, they wind up giving me infinite explanations (as if I didn’t know what they meant) or getting hurt and never talk to me again. This doesn’t happen in the classes I teach, so all I can figure is that people who expect you to do something for nothing have different expectations than people who are serious and are willing to pay to study the craft of writing.

6. Have you considered self-publishing?

Everyone considers self-publishing because it’s all over the place. People who self-publish pay a large chunk of money in order to produce a book that very few people will read. I would rather be paid for that honor.

7. Is your book something I would know?

How the heck do I know what you read? I’ve never had an interest in what everyone reads or what Oprah endorses.  My mind doesn’t work that way. 

So what should you say to a writer in a social situation? I would stick with the tried and true: politics and religion.

Silence is Golden

After waiting three months from the time I first learned about the film The Artist  I got around to seeing it this week.  French director Michel Hazanavicius has fashioned a wonderful period piece, set in the late 1920s, filmed in black and white.  Drama, comedy, and romance are intertwined in this gorgeously photographed and brilliantly directed film with a soaring score that is ideally suited to the material.  

The 1920’s era is beautifully recreated as is the aura of the Golden Age of Hollywood; that I felt like I stepped back in time.  Had I been in an old revival movie house instead of the bland box multiplex where I attended the screening along with an orchestra– I would have been transported.

Jean Dujardin plays George Valentin, a smoldering Rudolph Valentino look-alike who we first meet at a lavish film premiere of his latest silent movie in 1927, basking in the adulation of his audience. One of his fans, a wannabe starlet named Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), through some creative circumstances, breaks into showbiz and her talking pictures take off; as the wave of the future, while Dujardin’s lose favor.

Despite that arc, this film doesn’t have any spoken dialogue– except for a single scene that still has no talking but some sound effects – it’s silent from start to finish with white-on-black title cards.

With only his Jack Russell terrier named Jack (Uggie in real life) Valentin loses his fame and fortune, and spirals down into squalor.  

Of course it’s up to Peppy to save George.  

Dujardin and Bejo are mesmerizing, both as masters of physical comedy with exquisitely expressive faces. The supporting players  are also very good; from the studio boss, to the Chauffeur, and the passive aggressive wife– but if I could cast a vote, it would be for Uggie the dog that steals the show, proving who man’s best friend is.

It’s a very simple storyline; still the film is charming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8K9AZcSQJE

Lost Translation

Language can be tough to master. Today I found a list of English words that Russian multilingual novelist Nabokov (the author of Lolita en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita) reportedly found difficult to pronounce. He used diacritical marks to help him remember which syllable to stress.

In high school, I learned French from a native speaker.  In college, I had two French professors; one spoke with a British accent, another was Belgian who tried to sound American.  I suppose it reflected where they had done their graduate studies. All this made for an entertaining mix of regional dialects with foreign accents. So when I moved to Europe, I was never entirely sure how to pronounce certain words, words I came across mostly by listening to Radio France International and Canal Plus. Then there were the baffling exceptions, words which didn’t sound at all the way they were pronounced. But eventually, my ear grew accustomed to the nasal sounds of Paris French. Then I arrived in New York and went to film screenings at the French Institute Alliance Française http://www.fiaf.org.  After the movie a discussion would take place in French.  And intoned by a native New Yorker they had such a hard edge to them. I dared not speak! I never compiled a list —but now know had I implemented the Nabokov method I would have comprehended more and been less lost.  

What about you? Ever learned another language and been utterly confused ?

Confrontation is not a dirty word

Last Saturday I was on the phone with an old-timer. He verbally bashed the newspaper I use to work for, telling me how it had gotten into the hands of the wrong people altering its political slant. Then he went on to say how newspapers were convenient, something that we had to have, current events that were transportable. Did I mention he was an old-timer? But I went on to tell him how the mainstream news media is hemorrhaging and predicted the death of journalism, at least as we've known it, will fade completely in another 2-3 years. But take heart, the free press is alive and well in small towns across America, thanks to the editors of thousands of weeklies who, for very little money and a fair amount of aggravation, keep telling it like it is. Sometimes they tell it gently, in code only the locals understand. After all, they have to live there too. But they also tell it with courage, and stand up to powerful bullies, from thugs to corrupt politicians.

Of course, most of these newspapers are not uncovering major scandals on a regular basis. That's not what keeps them pumping out editions; it's the steady stream of news that readers can only get from that publication - the births, deaths, crimes, sports and local shenanigans that only matter to the 5,000 or so souls in their circulation area. It's more than a little ironic that small-town papers have been thriving by practicing what the mainstream media are now preaching. "Citizen Journalism," – this is one of the latest buzzwords of the profession. But the concepts, without the fancy names, have been around for ages in small-town newspapers.
(View the other LL)



You may be wondering about the Internet threat? Many of these small-town editors have learned a lesson from watching their big-city counterparts: Don't give it away. Many weeklies, charge for their Web content, and, because readers can't get that news anywhere else, they're willing to pay.

I wouldn't be so bold as to predict their future, not in a media landscape that is constantly shifting. But it's refreshing to remember a different kind of newspaper, one that lives in the hearts of weekly newspaper editors and reporters who keep churning out news for the corniest of reasons-because their readers depend on it.

I am deeply interested in the progress and elevation of journalism, having spent my life in that profession, regarding it as a noble profession and one of unequaled importance for its influence upon the minds and morals of the people.

Joseph Pulitzer

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Pulitzer

Entirely Novel

I'm often asked about the publishing process.  So I thought I’d clue you in dear writer on what you need to know before you send your work out.

   

1. Do your homework. Know who you are submitting your work to.  Request guidelines, sample copies, editorial calendars and/or catalogs. 

2. Don't send a short story to a magazine that accepts only nonfiction. Don't send a historical novel to an agent who handles everything but historical novels. 

3.Do submit neatly typed, error-free letters and manuscripts.
4. Don't call in a few days to ask the editor or agent if he or she received your manuscript. 

5. Do learn the jargon. For example, know the difference between a multiple submission and a simultaneous submission.    
6. Don't assume an agent or editor will make allowances for your grammar mistakes, typos or smudgy printer.  They won't. 

7. Do send your work to reputable publishing houses and literary agencies. Know the scams and what to avoid. 
8. Don't make costly mistakes, such as calling your work a fictional novel. All novels are fiction.  Redundancy shows your amateur status. 

9. Don't pay reading fees or jump for your credit card if you are asked for money.  There are sharks out there.

10.Don't plaster the copyright symbol all over your manuscript. Your work is already automatically copyrighted. Agents and editors know that; your copyright sign will  again notify them of your amateur status.

11.Do show from your correspondence or phone conversations that you are an agreeable, flexible person. Agents take personality into account when deciding whom to represent. An agent/client relationship can last a long time. No one wants to work with someone who is unpleasant. 

12. Don't burn any bridges. No matter how frustrated or angry you are, it will not do you any good to vent or write nasty emails or publish remarks on a blog. The publishing world is smaller than you think. You don't want to brand yourself as “difficult."

Stalling

Almost a week has lapsed and I hear the seeds sprouting. Little grumbles at first, then a full complaint. Write something! How am I convinced of this proclivity? I keep a journal. Faithfully, each day I record the happenings of the night before and the previous day. Once entered, pen down, I re-read events of a year ago.

Then it builds. As the pages turn throughout the year, I witness my own mental packing up. Then, sure enough, after the first itch, comes the inevitable leave-taking. I am perusing online sales, taking the dog out for a walk, stowing my yoga mat away,  emptying the gym bag, and cleaning out closets.

You might think this sequence of orderly events would lower my creativity, make me angry at myself for putting my house and body in order and for making excuses.  Au contraire. I'm proud that I know when I’m slacking. Certainly, others may scold my example of imperfection. But I counter and praise my willingness to coming closer at jumping in.

As I might expect, eyes may roll as I fashion myself a hero rather than a gadfly. No matter. As long as I can convince myself that each new experience will bring me something new from which to gather material. And so, life goes on. But for now, you'll have to excuse me. PBS Masterpiece Theatre (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/) awaits with the much anticipated season 2 of Downton Abbey.

Rural England

Over the holidays like most I went to the movies.  Movies about horses range from the competitive race horse sagas like Seabiscuit to the coming-of-age tear-jerkers like National Velvet to companionship tales like The Black Stallion.  But War Horse doesn't really fit into any of these genres. It seems to mimic the basic storyline of Black Beauty in that it follows the interaction of a horse with a number of different people, but it focuses on the lives of those people more than the life of the horse. It is as though the horse is the window through which the audience is able to see the struggles, tragedies and triumphs of these people. Yet that window, being a living being, has perspectives, feelings, fears, and affections that are reflected as well. It is as though the horse is the narrator, relating much of the story through his eyes, and this duality is what makes War Horse distinctive.

Not only is War Horse is a wonderful movie, beautifully shot with moving music; the kind that you feel in your chest, but it’s a melodrama, a war film, an allegory, a history lesson, an epic and best of all a family film that will remind you of the power in loving an animal.  

For Auld Lang Syne

This morning with little remaining of the year Good Morning America did a montage re-cap of 2011. As I watched I reflected on where I was when these major events took place. Like many of you I watched from my television set as Japan crumbled from an earthquake and tsunami.  While driving in the car, I listened to the BBC as I heard about Europe’s economic crisis. And sitting in a café I picked up a newspaper to read about the Middle East dictators being captured, imploded and dropping like ashes. 

As I take stock of my year I think of where we are headed as a nation.  Our economy continues to be in shambles, and so much of our news is wracked with strife, that it’s easy to forget the good that comes our way.  To end the year our troops came home from Iraq and Afghanistan after almost a decade. And although we may never regain the trillions of dollars spent (at least not in my lifetime) the war that was based on poor reasoning is over.  Now we can turn our full attention to pursuing long-term strategic plans for the U.S. to build or should I say re-build our future. There will be no more casualties of the brave servicemen and women who fought abroad and I hail that as our biggest victory of 2011.  Ring out the old, ring in the new. Have a happy and safe new year.

Surrendering Talents

Here's the last post of 2011 from guest blogger and Canadian writer Shane Joseph. 

Monday, September 29th, 2008

I had a dream. An old man was dropping objects from a bag into a lake. I seemed to be able to read his mind. The first items to go in the water were a cricket bat and a ball; they eddied and floated away. “Goodbye little friends, and thank you for the joy you once gave me. My limbs are too stiff for you now.” A theatrical mask followed. I recognized it from when I played El Gallo in amateur theatre, years ago during my youth. “And my voice cannot hold that tenor anymore,” the old man said. “But it was a happy time. Thank you.”

I walked closer and there was an odd familiarity to this old man, I had seen him somewhere. He took out a guitar and set it adrift in the water. “And this can go along too. My fingers cannot reach the chords fast enough anymore – arthritis.” It was a good Catania, one I had played often but never owned, and therefore, always desired.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he took out a well-thumbed notebook. He flipped the pages, smiling at some lines, getting angry over others, looking proudly at the horizon from time to time. “You are hard to give up,” he said hesitantly. “You are all my thoughts, desires, and machinations. You are the messages that came to me from across the water, in the middle of the night, that I recorded; the seeds of the novels and stories I wrote for many years. Until you stopped coming.”

He rose and paced, slowly at first, reaching a furious march, to and fro, scratching his head, gesticulating, pleading with some unseen entity, reluctant to let go of the book. Finally, as if embraced by an invisible but caring hand, he calmed down and turned towards the horizon once again. “What is in here does not belong to me; it was placed in my custody and stewardship, for conversion into lessons for others – my readers. And that I have accomplished. Now, like me, it must return to its source.” He set the book floating out into the middle of the lake, where it weaved and bobbed with his other talents. As he removed his clothing and prepared to enter the water, I rushed over, determined to rescue him, yet knowing I was going to be too late. Who was I to save him? I caught a glimpse of his face as he slipped into the inviting lake. The old man was me.

A tribute to fairy Godmothers

My hunch is that most kids prefer younger adults. As a child, I did not. The perceptions I drew from elders influenced me.  I remember older neighbors and how I made it a point to befriend them. Such as when I watched Mrs. Flory watering her lawn how I learned about the intrinsic value of nature. Sitting in the Irving’s living room snuggled into a big chair and being served liverwurst for the first time while being told about far-away lands.  Sipping lemonade with Mrs. Stokes while she fanned herself southern style I listened on why good manners were to be cultivated. Inside the Bogue’s dining room I got my first introduction to Jazz and the Big Bands.  And last there was my godmother, Aurora who lived in a big Victorian house that had all the trappings of another era; the enormous porch, a cast iron stove, the glass kitchen cabinets, a pond in the backyard, and the foot stool I had to step on to get into a high rise poster-bed.

If any woman could be said to embody and to be confined to a 1930’s cinematic era, it would have been her. Although she wasn’t an actress, like the famous contemporaries of the time—Greta Garbo, Marlene Dietrich, and Dolores Del Rio—she made a number of smart, savvy, sophisticated, moves that poured out of her in the years during my childhood.  She’s as much a part of the 1930's milieu as, say, the glamorous cast of The Women.    

Today I remember her since it would have been her birthday.  But also, like the aforementioned actresses, she personified what was then an era of chic—a time of glamour, attractiveness and magnetic flair.  As a child she came across as gentle and patient, forever a people watcher—forever curious about everything around her she would ask me adult-like questions about my ideas and increased my ability to symbolize, pushing my intellect making me think long after I had given my answer.  And when I gave her responses she asked me for definitions.  In my eyes, no one set the trends and pushed the limits better than she did. She was the quintessential star of my day, and she set the style, the vogue, and the trends in her social circle.  She was dubbed, the brightest, the best dressed, the most elegant, the jewel in the crown.

See No Evil

Having won numerous spelling bees during my childhood and adolescence it’s hard for me not to see errors. My husband is astonished whenever I point out a continuity mistake during a television show or film. And my hairdresser marvels at how I can visually see when he’s off a quarter of an inch on one side. What this boils down to is a miss-nothing-stare. Although I’m not perfect nor claim to be, I thought about Hemingway and his 4 rules of writing, and devised my own list. It includes the 4 most common grammar mistakes I see among bloggers, with suggestions.  

Grammar Mistakes 

1. Your vs. You’re

This one is extremely common among bloggers. All it takes to avoid this error is to take a second and think about what you’re trying to say.

“Your” is a possessive pronoun, as in “your car” or “your blog.” “You’re” is a contraction for “you are,” as in “you’re messing up your writing by using your when you really mean you are.

2. It’s vs. Its

Another common mistake easily avoided by thinking through what you’re trying to say.

“It’s” is a contraction of “it is” or “it has.” “Its” is a possessive pronoun, as in “this blog has got its audience.” Here’s an easy rule of thumb—repeat your sentence out loud using “it is” instead. If that sounds odd, “its” is likely the correct choice.

3. There vs. Their

This often gets overlooked.

“There” is used many ways, including as a reference to a place as in, “let’s go there” or as a pronoun; “there is no hope.” “Their” is a plural possessive pronoun, as in “their bags” or “their opinions.” Always do the “that’s ours” test.  Are you talking about more than one person and something that they possess? If so, “their” will get you there.

4. Affect vs. Effect

As with any of the other common mistakes people make when writing, it’s taking that extra minute to get it right that makes the difference.

“Affect” is a verb, as in “Your ability to communicate clearly will affect your income immensely.” “Effect” is a noun, as in “The effect of a parent’s income on a child’s future is well documented.” By thinking in terms of “the effect,” you can usually sort out which is which, because you can’t stick “the” in front of a verb. While some people do use “effect” as a verb such as an attorney- “a strategy to effect a settlement”, you should avoid this if you want to write in the manner in which people speak.

Five Rules

I often refer to Ernest Hemingway masculine declarative sentences. I’m almost finished reading The Sun Also Rises one of his masterpieces and a classic example of his spare but powerful writing style. Rather than embracing the flowery prose of the literati, he chose to write simply and clearly. With that in mind I’ve come up with five ways to emulate his style.  Let’s see what he can teach us about effective writing.

1. Use short sentences.
Hemingway was famous for a terse minimalist style of writing that dispensed with flowery adjectives and got straight to the point. In short, Hemingway wrote with simple genius.  Perhaps his finest demonstration of short sentence prowess was when he was challenged to tell an entire story in only 6 words: For Sale: baby shoes, never used.

2. Use short first paragraphs.
See my opening.

3. Use vigorous English.
Vigorous English comes from passion, focus and intention. It’s muscular and forceful. It’s the difference between putting in a good effort and trying to move a boulder…while sweating, grunting and straining your muscles to the point of exhaustion!

4. Be positive, not negative.
Since Hemingway wasn’t the cheeriest guy in the world, what do I mean by positive? Basically, you should say what something is rather than what it isn’t. Stating what something isn’t is counterproductive since it directs the mind in an opposite way. Even a word like inexpensive, can have a more positive tone; instead use economical. Another example; the word error-free can be stated as either consistent or stable.

5. Never have only 4 rules.
Although Hemingway only had 4 rules for writing, they were those he was given as a reporter at the Kansas City Star in 1917. But, as any writer knows, having only 4 rules isn’t really possible. So, in order to have 5, I had to dig a little deeper to get the most important writing tip and this quote says it all: “I write one page of masterpiece to ninety-one pages of shit,” Hemingway confided to F. Scott Fitzgerald in 1934. “I try to put the shit in the wastebasket.”

A great feast of language

What exactly does it mean to get acquainted with a literature classic by watching a television show? What happens when students are exposed to great works of literature by what they view versus what they read? Does this cultural literacy mean that literary classics have become part of pop culture and should be viewed that way?

Certainly a producer can argue when defending a TV adaptation of a classic that students who would have never read a book would at least watch a TV series based on it and get acquainted with literature classics in this way. And that argument seems to be valid. But there are those who can also argue that contemporary TV adaptations of classical novels are often simplistic and add elements of vulgarity believing it will keep the viewer engaged when it pollutes the storyline.

So which is correct? Both may be correct to a certain degree. But they are missing one important point: literary classics have become part of pop culture and should be viewed in that way; not as something whole or pure.

A good television or film adaptation can certainly provide pleasures of its own, but they are the pleasures available in that medium. A good film requires careful attention, just as a good novel, but the kind of attention being paid is not the kind required by fiction. Films can provoke us into immersing ourselves into the scenes since the image moves and forces us to keep track of the information conveyed through editing; it is ultimately the work of the eye and ear keeping pace with appearances. We have to look and listen. Fiction requires a kind of looking, but even our visual registering of a word, phrase and sentence, and the way these elements arrange themselves in a style distinctive to the author we're reading, is an internally-oriented mental process rather than an externally-oriented process of sorting sights and sounds.  Our imaginations then have to finish the job the writer has started. We have to mentally transform the words, phrases, and sentences into actions, thoughts, and the emotions of the characters. 

Seeing a film as either a supplement to or as a replacement for reading classic works, doesn’t make sense to me. It's based on the assumption that works of fiction are stories about characters and that, since a visual medium is able to tell stories about characters, if you faithfully tell the story and present all the characters you've adequately reproduced the book. While it's true that some literary classics, especially those written in the 18th and 19th centuries, have stories and characters, surely it isn't the case that they are conveyed to us in the same way.  What gets lost in the adaptation is narrative voice, fluctuations in point of view, subtleties in characterization, and shades of description. Most importantly, what gets lost is the encounter and richness of  language.

On Editing

A fellow writer and friend Shane Joseph is my guest blogger. His post, On Editing was written over three years ago, but is timeless and has relevance to the writing life.

 

Shane is a strong writer and his wit sparks. We met in San Francisco and in many ways; our paths have been very different.  He was born in Sri Lanka, I, the United States. He has lived in four countries; I have lived in two. He works in the corporate world; I teach. He plays in a rock band; and I sing in the shower.

 

And yet, we are also similar: we are both avid travelers and share a philosophy of visiting a foreign location every year.  And we both have lived in the desert. He said his time there was an intellectual void; I call it a hypnotic placidity that floats where nothing ever falls or changes.

 

Please welcome him.  You may enjoy his style, or you may not, but please make your comments known.  We are trying something new to support each others' creative endeavors, which I appreciate.  I hope you do too.

On Editing

Friday, August 1st, 2008

A writer once went out into the fields of imagination and created an animal with a lion’s roar, a giraffe’s neck, a cheetah’s speed, and a horse’s gait; he gave it the vegan diet of an elephant, the conceit of a cat and the faithfulness of a dog. The animal, which the writer decided to call “Novel” due to its uniqueness, took on the colours of the rainbow as it danced in the light of a fading sun. Both writer and his creation played and frolicked until it was time to go home.

 

At home, he met his friends, fellow writers, who did not like the lion’s roar (too frightening) and the cheetah’s speed (too racy). The writer took them off Novel to please his friends. He met his editor, who was livid that a giraffe’s neck should go with a horse’s gait (inconsistent). The writer met his publisher, who said, “How can I sell this…this…thing?” More cuts were made to appease all aggrieved parties. Finally, the publisher was happy and petted the animal, saying, “Now you are understandable and non-threatening. Everyone will want to have a clone of you in his house. They will enjoy you on their lap in their armchair beside the fire on a winter’s evening. They might even let you live in their bookcase.”

 

As the publisher walked away figuring out how many clones he would make, the teary writer sat dejectedly with his animal, now reduced to a tiny dog, and said to it, “Who are you?”

 

Shane Joseph is the author of three novels and a collection of short stories. His work After the Flood won the best futuristic/fantasy novel award at the Canadian Christian Writing Awards in 2010. His short fiction has appeared in international literary journals and anthologies. His latest novel The Ulysses Man has just been released. For details see www.shanejoseph.com

Blog Smart

In talking with a screenwriter friend about blogging I was asked how many hits does a writer need to be recognized.  I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 100-300 hits a day. That would make 3,000-9,000 in a month and is achievable.  But 9,000 Twitter followers and  thousands of Facebook Fans? Not so easy.  In fact, you’d have to be an author endorsed by Oprah to make those numbers. So are we all wasting our time?

I originally began to blog two and a half years ago as a way to market myself and a book.  But as the Internet is becoming more saturated, I believe it will be more of a strain for a new blogger to make waves in the blogosphere.

There’s a difference between having a writing platform so tall that you can snag a book deal based on your reputation alone and having a well written book with a little social media behind it to show agents and publishers that you’re out there making connections and that you’re book-marketing savvy. The key is to make sure the book-writing comes first followed by the blog, Twitter, and Facebook.  I say this to remind writers that there are times when we feel like we are spending more time on social media than on a book, which is counterproductive. Because without a great book, what’s there to market?    

While I don’t think blogging is a waste of time, I think blogging poorly is a waste of time. The key is to find your niche and delve in. Write about what interests you, what makes you unique. If that’s rock climbing, gardening or speaking Portuguese, then that’s what you should blog about because people with those interests will find you and follow you and read your work.

What about you? Do you have a particular niche, something that makes you different from all the other writer/bloggers out there?
In my next post I’ll be having a fellow writer join in as a guest blogger.