Make it Easy on Yourself

I’ve been thinking about why students don’t ask for feedback and are highly sensitive when they receive it.  I got over my hurdle when I discovered that by not accepting constructive criticism I would not grow as a writer. In that vein, I’m sharing why this 
happens along with my recommendations.

You worry that the feedback will be negative. Many people avoid asking others what they think about a piece of writing because they have a sneaking suspicion that the news will not be good. If you want to improve your writing, however, constructive criticism from others will help. Remember that the criticism you receive is only criticism of the writing and not about you.

You don't know whom to ask. The person who can offer the most effective feedback on your writing may vary depending on when you need the feedback and what kind of feedback you require. Keep in mind, though, that if you are really concerned about a piece of writing, almost any thoughtful reader (be it someone whom your respect and understands your mental process) can provide useful feedback that will help you improve your writing. Don't wait for the expert; share your writing with a few select readers.

You don't know how to ask. It can be awkward to ask for feedback, even if you know whom you want to ask. Asking someone, "Could you take a look at my story?" or "Could you tell me if this is OK?" Can sometimes elicit wonderfully rich responses. Usually, though, you need to be specific about where you are in the writing process and the kind of feedback that would help. You might say, "I'm really struggling with the structure of this story. Could you read these pages and see if the ideas seem to be in the right order?"

You don't want to take up anyone’s time. You may be hesitant to go to a friend or mentor because you don't want to bother him or her. If you can't meet during another's time schedule, try making a special appointment. If you find that you aren't able to schedule a time to talk with a specific person, remember that there are plenty of other people around you who can offer feedback.  Keep in mind you are not dependent on solely one person and be open.  

You've gotten feedback in the past that was unhelpful. If earlier experiences haven't proved satisfactory, try again. Ask a different person, or ask for feedback in a new way. Experiment with asking for feedback at different stages in the writing process: when you are just beginning, when you have a first draft, or when you think you are finished. Figure out when you benefit from feedback the most, the kinds of people you get the best feedback from; the kinds of feedback you need, and the ways in which to ask for feedback effectively.