Poetry an echo

It’s truly heartwarming to see the Literature prize go to Tomas Tranströmer. One can see how the Swedish Academy might have resisted giving the prize to a local boy out of some sense of propriety, so it’s great to see that sense of propriety gave way to a more proper sense of the proprietary. 

Although many Americans haven't heard of Tranströmer, Sweden should be proud to honor a poet who has meant so much throughout the world, and who confirms the notion held that poetry can take on the exterior world and can be politically charged. From what I've read a wide public has embraced a poet who does not necessarily tell the nation what it thinks it wants to hear. For many of us poetry with its use of everyday subjects and images is an examination of the interior-world , a view into the unconscious with a syncopation of rhythms and simplicity of diction. American poet Carl Sandburg said, “Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.” If that means anything to anyone, there’ll be dancing in the streets of Stockholm tonight.

Prima Donna

This morning I heard that October 5 is the most common of birthdays. It made me feel warm and fuzzy since it would have been my maternal Grandmother's 108th birthday. She brought opera and books to my attention and was known for her skills as a raconteur, a Spanish-speaking Scheherazade. But we shared other similarities besides music, reading and writing.  My birthday follows hers by two weeks and as Libras we both have a deep love of spirituality and quest for the unknown, insight into the psychology of human desire, are slightly eccentric, revere nature, have a need for beauty and harmony in our environment, ( or we can't function) were/are sociable creatures, can work long hours (independently) and dislike being told what to do. The list goes on. Naming our attributes made me think we shared obsessions and were/are smitten with books and with writing.

In the novel, Old School by Tobias Wolff, the narrator in particular is obsessed. The narrator sees writing as a passport out of what he sees as the mediocrity that he's been born into. He knows he can't belong to the class that the people around him belong to, so writing is a way of transcending class altogether. This adds fire to his obsession.

I have noticed in my writing life I experience frustration when other things take me away from my writing. A ringing telephone, loud noises, lunch, a trip to the bank or post office is an interruption that leaves me ansy to return to my desk. My dream world is filled with revisions and edits over material I've written for the day.

Has writing become an obsession for you? Is writing the only thing you can think about? Do you continually dissect dialogue when having a conversation with family, friends, or co- workers? Do you use daily events to churn into a story? Do you think about sentence structure, punctuation, and grammar before speaking during a conversation? Does a new idea for a story take over your thought processes once it has been planted there?

As I see it, obsessing over writing is a blessing.  It's a gift to use. Passion produces obsession if you let writing guide you and take over. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFypui1xKlk

Work and Play

About half a year ago I realized that many of the vocations that I have been involved in have vanished. Something I'd expect if I were 60, 70 or 80. It was a strange revelation on three counts; first because I have another thirty years ahead of me to work, second because these vocations were positions important to the American ideal, future and economy, and last, because it is sign that times are rapidly changing giving rise to unpredictability.

Two weeks after my last day in high school and for the next year of my life I was a directory assistance operator, a job that later folded when Ma Bell went from being a monopoly to becoming divested. I then went onto college and worked part-time teaching remedial reading to inner city school kids. Four years later, I leaped into public affairs with another public utility company. Public affairs was thriving in the image-conscious Reagan years, however later the department dismantled because of budget cuts. Then came my moment in television as a soap opera decorator, with The Guiding Light and All My Children's recent cancellation—it’s clear that soap operas are remnants from a television past when the three networks ruled the airwaves and advertisers could expect huge non-fast-forwarding audiences for their endless commercials. Then I had a stint as a CD ROM producer, but technology went to DVD, and put an end to that dinosaur. I switched to reporting for a newspaper, and with the advent of the Internet, we now know that newspapers will never resurrect; even the New York Times has gone from being hefty to tabloid thin. In fact, it seems all of the fore-mentioned vocations will never come back to life. And although I loved change and sought it out, I wish I would have not taken “work” so seriously, and enjoyed more of the ride.

So good-bye to phones, public affairs, the sound stages, the editing booth, the newspaper room, and all the rest of the relics of these disappearing vocations. I miss the diversity and ease of transitions I had and think about the people I met along the way– and doesn't it always come down to that equation– that we are here to connect to others. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQsooCyjcv4

Missoni Mayhem

Okay I confess, this post won't be about books because I'm multifaceted. Not only am I a writer but I'm also a shopper. I love fashion and gleam at a sale. Yesterday I got caught in the Missoni mayhem and was eager to see the limited edition designed for retailer Target and nab items that elsewhere are being sold for up to five times the original retail price.

The Missoni design is reminiscent of the 1960's and it includes some highly individual knitwear in bold patterns, primarily in a zigzag, some of which, I admit, I don't like and make me dizzy. But because the line has been around so long, their garments have become status symbols.

Had I have gotten to the store sooner, I could have picked up the gold and brown cardigan I wanted, but I'm not a morning person. A hoarder in the crowd filled up her shopping cart and when I asked her where the merchandise had come from, she sent me on a wild- goose chase. But all was not lost.

Left: I see an opening. You go in hard, and I'll follow.

Right: That could work ... but it's still risky.

Left: We've been training for months. It's as easy now as it will ever be.

Right: All I'm saying is, we don't have to go through with this. Nobody would blame us.

Left: It's going to be tough to run through this entire mega-store without a cappuccino, but let's move, or we'll never get through to the women's department. Come on, what da ya say?

Right: All right then. Let's do this thing. But if I slip, you're paying the chiropractor bill.

These will be fun to pair with pants because the heel is chunky (I prefer a stiletto with a dress). And, I can walk in them. The older I get the more I value mobility over beauty or perhaps I've come to believe there's more beauty in mobility?

Feel free to step forward in the comments– and, tell me what you think. 

Never love a wild thing

This afternoon while taking a walk in the light mist I saw an alley cat, huddling up against a wall, bringing to mind the cat without a name in Breakfast at Tiffany's. http://www.reelclassics.com/Movies/Tiffanys/tiffanys.htm This month is the film's 50^th anniversary which is being remastered as a DVD release.

Apparently with Truman Capote's success came social celebrity. He mingled with the social elite, and was seen at the best parties, clubs, and restaurants. His novella, Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1958), took much of its inspiration from those experiences.

Breakfast at Tiffany's is the story is about a struggling writer Paul Varjak that moves into a New York swank East Side apartment building (from the generosity of his female, married benefactor) and becomes intrigued by his pretty, quirky neighbor Holly Golightly. Holly confuses and fascinates Paul; in public she flits through parties with a sophisticated air, but when they're alone she changes into a sweetly vulnerable bundle of neuroses.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOByH_iOn88

Capote lobbied for Marilyn Monroe in the lead, whom he deemed more suitable for the role, much to his displeasure it went to the aristocratic Audrey Hepburn, to play the rural- Texas-born Holly Golightly that he created. He even went as far as to say that Paramount double-crossed him in every way. Not a bad outcome for an act of deceit.

A Yearning Heart, A Score, A Book

Night before last I turned on to Charlie Rose for the last segment of the show. The affable Italian-American Antonio Pappano; Music director of the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden and the Orchestra of the Accademia Nazionale di Santa Cecilia in Rome, was his final guest (http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/11278).

Rose referred to him as Antonio but with his strong work ethic and drive for conducting he should be dubbed Tony the Tiger. His infectious passion in communicating music made even the poker face, Charlie Rose smile.

Time and again what popped into my mind were the similarities in music as in the written word. Based on his interview here are some examples; the love of art gets your blood going like no other thing can. You have to sustain and engage your audience and keep them interested. Listening (as in writing) is an emotional experience. And finally it's his job as a conductor (similar to writer) to take the words and find the inherent drama in them for others to relate to.

On a personal note my husband sang under his baton when Pappano was a guest conductor with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Steven moved by a particular piece, the Britten War Requiem, went up to him and asked him how he could prevent himself from getting choked up. Pappano replied, “that's the point, you're suppose to be emotionally spent.” The score is based on poems written by a soldier during World War I, found after his death in the trenches.

To conclude the interview, Rose made a remark about Pappano's sense of purpose, at which the conductor responded with, “Opera is hard to do. It's very easy to do it mediocre, it's easy to do badly, but it's hard to get it right.” I echo his statement about getting it right.

I thought about the inter-connectedness in art, how interpretative and communicative artists are grateful to their audience that allows them to let their gift shine through and how audiences desire to embrace music as they desire to embrace a good story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qplk3PL-ltw

Write On

I've been a reader and writer ever since I can remember. Even before I could read by myself, I recall sitting next to my grandmother on the mauve living room sofa listening to her read in her light soprano voice. I was captivated by the scent of rose that emanated from her skin and the idea of books bringing stories to life. As a child I wrote stories prominently featuring girls talking to small critters such as birds, bunnies and poodles and the animals talking back.

I continue to read voraciously and love finding unusual books that are so good I wish I could read them for the first time again. As an adult, in my solitude I felt a depth of feelings that were very intense. And it was that intensity of emotion that led me back to writing. It opened my life.

Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a chance at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it time and time again. It's like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can't stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on the ship.

Are you a reader or a writer? And what has reading and writing done for you?

Love is not blind, it's kind

Last night I went to dinner and every-time I opened my mouth I was interrupted; as a result I did not discuss my life, interests or thoughts. Although I enjoy listening (I am given understanding and future material) I would have been better off elsewhere. Being selective of my time and dislike wasting it for things that don't enlighten me, help me to help others or bring me pleasure, I was intellectually bored.  

Everybody thinks they are good at listening – after all, it just involves a bit of concentration and not saying anything. Simple. Or is it?

In my first class I have students gather into couples and listen to one another for five minutes without interrupting or taking notes. Then I have them each give a summary of what they have heard.

I do this to promote effective communication. The art of listening and ability to concentrate is crucial for good writing.

Sometimes there can be a worry that if someone is given a chance to speak uninterrupted, they will go on forever, but often they will take up much less time than if they are interrupted.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line and in the same way, an uninterrupted stream of talking will flow more quickly to its end point, if one is continuously caused to deviate from its path by a change of topic, opinions and other comments. The repetitions and wider explanations are the speaker's response to these interruptions, leading to a longer period of speaking.

When people experience interruptions they resort to speaking in choppy sentences, don't complete their thoughts and there is a likelihood that they will not be listening either when people speak to them, because they will have developed the strategy of thinking of their next answer or comment to squeeze in whatever they can– because it has become a competition to be heard– rather than a real conversation.

In this way, ineffective listening is mutually induced in both people having the conversation. So basically, it only takes one person to break the circle of decline in the quality of the listening.

So why do people not listen? Because they believe that they and their words are more important than anyone or anything else. Yes, it comes down to arrogance. Sure, some folks will use their faulty memories as an excuse.

The brain can mold. When it has formed a bad habit; such as conditioned not to listen, being like elastic it is capable of learning something new and will benefit in the long run from the expansion.

With the practice of uninterrupted time, a listener can listen and the speaker can speak without anxiety that they will have to fend off interruptions. The effectiveness and quality of the communication increases enormously as a result. And isn't that form of respect what friendship is really about? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw1lmCS11A8

Ole Miss

You is kind, you is smart, you is important– the opening lines that character Aibilene played by actress Viola Davis says as the maid-nanny to the toddler she cares for in the film, The Help (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454029/). Perhaps not the best usage of the English language but the intent was to give the little girl, Mae Mobley who has been love starved by her mother, a sense of self-worth. And, since Aibilene is silently mourning her son’s untimely death, to compensate for her loss, she forms a strong, loving bond with the child, who she attempts to potty train.

There are several relationships woven throughout the film that are very touching. Main character, Skeeter, who returns to her hometown of Jackson after graduating from the University of Mississippi, is determined to become a writer. Her relationship with her mother, with her childhood friend Hilly, and to the black maids are all well developed. And so is maid Minny's friendship with Aibilene and Minny's relationship to her employer, bombshell, Miss Celia.

The movie, primarily focuses on the struggles African-Americans faced in the south during the 1960s before the civil rights movement. Skeeter exposes the injustices the African-American community was experiencing and Aibilene in turn develops a growing admiration for Skeeter.

While many film adaptations of books (http://amzn.to/odt5OM) aren’t emotionally moving, and don’t feature as many in-depth characters and themes, as their source material, this is one film that stayed true to the novel. Ironically, as I was walking out, I was silently rooting for an Oscar for Viola Davis and thought of how black audiences would perceive the film, would they view it as mockery or see it as a story of truth that evolved from a shameful undercurrent of racism. Two elderly women engaged in conversation with me, originally from the South and said that's the way it was. I left the theater thinking whichever way it unfolds viewers will feel courageous and want to stand up for what’s right.

Those who say yes have more fun

How do we make that scary leap from thinking about writing to actually doing it?
Now, I cannot claim to be a total expert on this. There are many things that I'd like to do/am in the process of doing that may never fall under the done heading. Hiking in Nepal, taking flying lessons, and competing in a triathlon to name a few. However, I do have a decent track record of actually completing a good number of the seemingly improbable things that I set out to do. Here's what has worked for me:

Write it down, then start mapping your path
We all know that putting pen to paper is one of the best ways to make things happen. It'll start to seem realistic when you look at it on paper. Taking it further helps even more; research, do your own due diligence and start compiling the information that will bridge the gap between what's inside your head and what's not.

Blast it
Tell everybody about it! Anybody worth knowing will be excited for you and feed your enthusiasm. Also, you'll be a less likely to back out of your plan because everyone you know will be asking you about it. Shame can be a great motivator.

Spend money on it
Most will be exponentially more likely to complete a goal that they spend money on. It's a great step towards getting there.

Make it irreversible
Now that you're making tendrils of progress, keep going. When you're really serious about something and you know intuitively, that it's the right choice, don't allow yourself the luxury of a backup plan. I once bought a one-way, non-refundable ticket, to Europe expecting to stay for six months and instead it turned into three years. Be courageous! By putting yourself at the mercy of fate you are going to have so much fun!

Doing begets more doing
I've found that action begets more action. Once you've published your novella, you know that you are capable of moving to Hong Kong on your own, or learning to speak Hindi, and you can't be deterred from starting an import business–all these things are totally doable, you go-getter, you!  

Thru my eyes

The story of The Little Prince continues to be a mainstay favorite of people of all ages; indeed, I don't know anyone who is well-read who has not heard of this classic story.

The story can basically be split into two parts: The first part is the brief introduction dealing with the narrator and his view of the world when he was a child (plus his drawings of the inside and outside of a boa constrictor) and how adults could never understand the real meaning of things or perceive truth in the world–only the superficial and the usual.

The Little Prince describes his journey from planet to planet, each tiny world populated by a single adult. It's a wonderfully inventive sequence, which evokes not only the great fairy tales but also monuments of postmodern whimsy whenever the author pokes fun at the following: a king, a conceited man, a tippler, a businessman, a geographer, and a lamplighter, all of whom signify some futile aspect of adult existence.

On another level, you can see the Little Prince's travels to other planets as an allegory throughout life. What are we seeking for? How do you know when we have found it? How do we lose what is important? The examples of self-absorbed adults, beginning with the aviator, provide many cautionary tales. "Don't you see– I'm very busy with matters of consequence!"

The rest of the book is the story of the Little Prince, whom the narrator discovers in the Sahara is trying to fix his downed airplane and is in fear of his life. The narrator and the reader slowly come to know the prince's story and learn about friendship, love and truth in a touching way. "To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand little foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

The best parts are those dealing with the prince's relationship with his beloved proud rose (her four thorns are supposed to protect her from tigers) left on his planet and the prince's relationship with the wise little fox, who offers the prince his philosophical secret on life. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

The boy's innocent, yet loyal relationship with the flower, leaves me with the question: Should we love only those whom are deserving of love, whom are capable of loving us back? Or do we love whole-heartedly whether we get love in return or not? And, how do we replenish the well of love if we keep giving out and do not receive it back?

The book holds many different levels of meaning. In fact, the wider your mind and heart, the more you will appreciate the story. But the narrower your mind and heart, the more you need this story.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiUxtUV1o-s&feature=related

Mildred Pierce HBO

In early spring I saw Mildred Pierce HBO, the series, and no, it was not the best movie I’ve seen on HBO. I didn't think it was engaging but I watched expecting that I would enjoy it. One of the things I respect about HBO is that they don't sugarcoat period pieces. Bad things happen, people are disappointed and love matters.

But, that’s not my point.

As I was watched the five part mini-series and compared it to the Hollywood classic — a movie that is both a melodrama and film noir, with Joan Crawford and Ann Blyth, at the very peak of their considerable talents, I was struck by the fact that the new version looked so different from the original. Although each scene looked like it was from that era; the lighting was dark and flat; however, I preferred the black and white version that was more vibrant and glossy. 
 
The thing is that the HBO version did not have a portrayal of an interesting character at its center, Kate Winslet gave an earthy performance, whereas Joan Crawford was more angry and insecure, which brings me back to something I often say in class– the best stories are character-driven. Yes, I loved the details about the costumes, and interiors, but the reason I prefer the original Mildred Pierce is that I believed Joan Crawford's portrayal of the character. I think that writers in general, and dramatic writers in particular, often fall into the trap of thinking that if they get the details right, the story will fall into place. But I think that’s wrong. You need to start with a convincing character. 
 
A strong character is what your audience will remember most. In my next blog post I'll deconstruct another aspect of writing, so stay tuned. 
http://www.hbo.com/mildred-pierce/index.html 

A Unique Jewel

Montebello, CA  Original Library

Last Friday I went to my local Borders bookstore and stocked up on books. While standing in line, it occurred to me that it was a matter of time before libraries would cease to exist. Then I had déjà vu and I was a kid again at the Montebello Public Library I recalled the two Italian glass mosaic murals that flanked either side of the entrance; one representing Science the other, the Humanities. From that very first time in a library, I fell in love with the sights and sounds that struck me as a child.  

Years later when my family moved to another city, that I disliked, we left our large and beautiful custom-built house that my father built, my friends, school and all that was familiar to me. During that transition I also lost my maternal grandmother and cat within months of each other. I was grieving, with no way to express it other than through sketching with my charcoals. At our new place my mother went to work, feeling stranded and lonely that summer, I'd ride my bike to the library, a place where knowledge was openly available to all without the need for a companion or money as the key to access. Having an attraction for elders, I befriended the librarian, she was my saving grace and inspiration–she introduced me to a world of books and welcomed me with a smile on her face.

A library not only signifies a magnificent repository of books but it's charged with collecting knowledge, as a place of learning. Libraries as a receptacle hold books that feed the soul: through arts, culture, intellectual growth, knowledge, and other activities that enhance a life, a community, a civilization.

Over the weekend I heard the Mayor of Toronto wants to sell off the city's public library one of the largest on the continent, to cut city costs (Toronto Library).

I would like to offer the mayor a piece of advise– never give away the crown jewels or you'll be left holding nothing of value.

Make your world

This week I had a former student ask me if he could use the title of my book. I pointed out how as a native-English speaker, he could come up with his own title. I neglected to point out that I've had a copyright on it with the Library of Congress since 2008. As an exercise in my creative writing class on characterization, I read students a sample paragraph and asked them to write on the facial features of a character they know well. Some choose to use the same words in the same context I had read aloud. The problem is, we tend to be blind to our own mistakes — and without a teacher or an editor, we keep making the same ones over again!

According to the Global Language Monitor, published May 18, 2011, there are over one million words in the English language. And while I understand that many works of art are derivative, such as a blog, where we link to one another, commenting on something that has been said or done by someone else, adding our bit of wisdom, but borrowing from one another, I ask– where is original thought?

Art is a noble quest. I know a few writers who won't read while they in are in a writing mode just so they can be assured that their words are uniquely their own. I'm a believer that as part of the race of man we share some of the same creative ideas on the spiritual plane. But how we choose to interpret what the Universe gives us makes us distinct and adds style. Good writing involves a love of language. Using your own words comes down to original thought. A thought is tied to a string of personal memories, biased and uniquely yours. Original in every sense. And isn't creativity whereby a person creates something new–from what is inside them?

It takes work to reconsider what you are trying to say. It involves the need to improve the content of your material, looking for a whole new aspect of the issue, and in the end, to express it in a fresh way.  

The song is ended, but the melody lingers

I don't know if others feel this way, but hearing about Borders Bookstores closing made my heart sink. It was one of my regular haunts. I have many warm memories of the times I spent in Borders on South Lake in Pasadena, being at book signings, putting on a headset listening to music, hearing local bands play on Sunday afternoons, meeting people, the coffee shop, and participating in local store events.

Borders, like the Barnes & Noble stores, was notable in the 1990s for, essentially, putting many of the smaller boutique bookstores out of business. Although I love the independents, they had more books, more magazines, more media, comfy areas to sit and — they had coffee.

I can’t count the number of happy Saturdays spent browsing among the stacks. I never seemed to be able to get out of there in less than three hours, for there was always something delightful or interesting I just had to read.

But the Internet has eclipsed all that. There's now a generation of people who rely on the convenience of Amazon Prime. Readers who will trade in their print editions for digital Kindle books, which places the days of the great community bookstores clearly behind us.

Borders, was a slow sink. They tried to keep up, but, like today’s newspapers, another relic that I favored, they were tied to old business models and those models eventually pulled them underwater.

A bookstore has been a longtime faithful friend and companion to me. Saying good-bye will mean going through a moratorium.

So, for all those good times, I thank Borders.

What is it about?

Last week in class I spoke about a blurb being the book description you find on the back of a book to describe a book's contents. I included my professional stint at Newsweek http://www.newsweek.com/ in New York http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York as a temp and how I'd see a pile of books amassed in a corner waiting for someone's endorsement. 
 

Blurbs similar to a jacket are an important selling tool for a book; written as a review by either a newspaper, or someone well-known aimed at grabbing the reader's attention.

During my short tenure at the magazine, when the book “Bridges of Madison County” came in, it had been scoffed at by the publishing elite in New York City, like a stray cat it sat on the windowsill.

The story is about two people, one is married the other is not, who find the promise of perfect personal happiness, and understand, with sadness and acceptance, that the most important things in life are not always about making yourself happy.

I asked to take it home to read and offered to report back on it. One person noticed my literary enthusiasm; an influential columnist, and we became friendly. She trusted me and eventually offered me a job working from her home in Westchester County. Although I appreciated the offer; remaining honest with myself, I turned it down, since it was in an area that wasn't in the arts which would have a better fit for me.

So how can you condense all that important information?

Here's what I did.

Introduce the hero and heroine, giving a simple plot set up or conflict. Next what is the exterior conflict of the novel? What must both achieve or defeat and what do they have to lose?

Reread paragraph four–and there you have it!

Under the covers

It is not once nor twice but times without number that the same ideas make their appearance in the world.

–Aristotle

Last night I asked students what mechanisms they use to determine whether or not they will buy a book. The majority said they read the inner flap. So what is flap copy?

Flap copy is the blurb that appears on the flap of the dust jacket for a book. It’s written by the publisher or most likely an editorial assistant, often as a “hook,” trying to persuade the reader that they will enjoy reading this book, so buy it! Sometimes, it’s referred to as jacket copy.

It is the second most important marketing tool for a book, and as a reader, it's used to influence you. As a writer, you probably want to monitor what the publisher writes and suggest revisions as needed. Sometimes, writers also play around writing flap copy as a way to help focus a story. I've actually seen on a few literary agent websites an area where a writer is asked to write their own flap copy, in an effort to get a writer to think about marketability before sending their manuscript off to them.

The last Harry Potter book, published in the U.S., was remarkable for the absence of any flap copy. They didn’t need to persuade the reader to read the book with teases about the story. Those who would read Harry Potter were going to do it anyway.

On the porch swing

I'll be teaching Creative Writing this summer for CSN, one of the trickiest and most enjoyable classes I teach. The classes tend to be small, and students tend to be at various levels, which means gauging backgrounds and lots to discuss. But that’s not the problem.


The scope of the critiquing is difficult in a small class. Not only are we reviewing the pages under submission, but we’ve got to consider them in the context of what came before and what should come after. If we’re discussing lesson four, for example, you really need figure out how that builds from lesson one, which we engaged in three weeks ago. However, even that’s not the problem.

The problem, at the moment, is that I added to the lectures and exercises, a discussion of Harper Lee's book, To Kill a Mockingbird. Everyone writing today should be familiar with To Kill a Mockingbirdhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Kill_a_Mockingbird. Certainly if you’re writing a literary novel. This has been widely reviewed as one of the 20th century classics for it's excellent writing.

But how on earth to incorporate reading a novel into a ten-week class? This has been what’s preoccupying me over break. I can’t assign the entire book to read. There’d be an insurrection. We could read part of the book. Normally I’d suggest reading the opening 50 pages, but I think the beginning of Lee's book while interesting is not necessarily the most inviting part of it. Quite honestly, I think only think she as a Southerner could get away with a slow paced beginning. I considered having each class member read a different twenty pages and report back, but that would deny us all a certain narrative thrust. So this summer, I will be re-reading along with my students one of the great American classics.

The home of the brave

Life in the United States has taken on a different meaning since 1776. Today its walking around with your iPhone, and checking the internet right on the street. Having a career your parents never heard of and they don’t understand what you do. Internet investing and/or dating. Driving a Hybrid and for some it is growing their own food and living green.

People around the world are in various stages of independence, some predating the kind Americans sought in 1776; freedom from over taxation and religious discrimination. In today's world–food, medical care, poverty, child and marital abuse, women’s rights, education, religious and spiritual misunderstandings and differences, are still unresolved issues.

What can we do about it? Start with yourself. Just as the Gottman Institute calls for five praises for one criticism for a healthy marital relationship, let’s use that five to one ratio in other ways.

Five steps of action for one neglect. Five amends for a mistake. Five good thoughts for one that doesn’t meet your standards. Five good words for someone you dislike. Five real smiles for a stranger.

Live your good intentions, now. That’s true independence– the independence from yourself to be yourself, right before your eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG1W7JDWv50 

Oedipus strikes again

                                        

Yesterday, I was expecting to see another televised wedding. Disappointed, I went on the Internet to quell my curiosity about the Grace Kelly swan(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swan_%28film%29) look-alike marrying the all-time bachelor of the Monaco royal family.

When my expectations were not met, I found photos which got me thinking about men marrying their mothers.

There is a psychological theory that men marry their mothers, or maybe they marry their mothers and fathers. I once heard in a psychology class that a man and woman sharing intimacy is really like four people in bed since each one brings their parents to a relationship.

Men are often attracted to the physical type that their mother is– because that's the physical image of the woman they grew up with. The theory is that you try to create a home life with your spouse that is close to the home life you grew up in.

Unconsciously there is more than meets the eye. Let's assume a man marries a woman who doesn't act or look like his mother and has a completely different personality than his–this is what is known as our 'sexual personality'.

In relationships that flounder, when a couple seeks counseling, it is highly likely that a discovery will be made; that both parties will have the same, or at least very similar sexual personalities. As problems arise the couple need to understand why a clash is happening. It is likely that these similarities are the cause of the marital conflict. Only when this is understood can there be a more free-flowing understanding and/or tolerance of one another's behavior.

So the reference to men marrying their mothers, is really not a mystery after all.